This is a small bio of my life, and how I woke up.
My “Spiritual Heritage”
I was born in 1977. I am a 5th generation of JW on my mothers side, and the third generation on my fathers side. (Not including overlapping generations).
My great grandma’s uncle was “anointed” and a cole porter in the early teens and 20’s of the last century. My great grandma died out in service in 1975, so she was a “great example of a good JW”. Both of my grandmothers married unbelievers. But my parents were both raised in the cult.
My father went to Brooklyn in 1968, and served there until 1973. My mother was a need is greater for three years in El Salvador from 1970 to 1973. They met each other at a international convention in D.C. in 1968. They were married in 1973. They both pioneered until my sister was born in 1975.
My sister, brother, and I had a great childhood. We had such great parents who loved us at that time. We visited Bethel, and had hundreds of bethelites visit our house over the years. My sister and I were baptized in 1989 in Philly. My sister started to aux pioneer right away. I became a regular aux pioneer in my freshman year of high school. When I finished high school in 1995 I became a regular pioneer.
My wife and were married in 1997. We pioneered as a couple until my daughter was born in 2001. My wife went back on the list in 2006 when our kids got a little older.
A disgusting thing that happened in a “Holy Place”
There were many things that should have woken me up years before I did. But this is one that will always stick in my crawl. In 2004 my daughter was molested in the Kingdom Hall. I could not believe it. The elders of course handle it wrong. This first time they did not even call the branch. Six months later the creep touched her again. This time as an MS I called the branch. I got in more trouble from the elders for doing this then chester the molester did. We were looked down by our extended family as the problem not as the victim. We encouraged not to call the police, but we could. The monster had molested other young girls in other halls before coming to ours a few weeks before he attacked her. And of course we were not informed that he had done these things in the past. There is so much more I could say on this subject. Later on I found out that the reason why I was not appointed an elder until I was 34 was because I called the branch, and did not follow the direction of the GB.
How I Woke Up
We just thought it was the truth and kept on going. Flash foreword until 2013. My congregation had 16 elders. The CO asked one of us to help a close congregation. I was made the service overseer within a month of joining that hall. Soon after that a request for a bible study was received on the website. I gave it to my wife, and she started a bible study with her. This young woman made amazing progress. She came to the meetings within a few weeks. She became a pub in a few months. But she kept on doing research. She found out about the UN in the spring of 2015, and showed it to my wife. This just rocked my world.
My wife who pioneered for 20 years, and who lived for the truth did more research then ever. She kept finding stuff and showing it to me. We had more fights and arguments in 2015 then in all of the other 19 years we were married. She was awake and I was not. I could not see it. I was still brain washed. Even the ARC video did not wake me up. But a crazy thing did.
As the service overseer I was in charge of the literature counter. We had an old servant who could not handle a computer Every six months I had to put the inventory on the website. In September I put the inventory in. In October I got a letter from the branch in my inbox to discard old literature. I gave the letter to my lit servant. He did not throw away the literature. I forgot about it. Six months later in February of this year I put the inventory in the website. Again i got a letter saying that this lit must be discarded at the next meeting. We could not put it out on the counter to give out. The literature that they wanted to get rid of was Knowledge book, live forever, reasoning, and the old organize book. But why? What was so bad about having this in the litter counter?( do you see what I did there ? All that the literature is good for is kitty litter). The last Tuesday night meeting of the month of February we had an elders meeting after the meeting was over. The other elders brought this up and gave me a hard time for not doing this. That was it! I woke up during this meeting. I knew that it was all a lie and a a corporation not the truth. That was my last meeting ever. I did not go back.
I wrote a letter to my Cobe, and told him i Could not serve. But he did not want to hear it. All of the things my wife was telling me over the last 11 months made sense and it all came together.
The Shunning of a Family Member
After fading for a month, I could not live a double life. In march I wrote a letter to my family.
My sister who has been at Wallkill since 1998 never responded and blocked my number on her iPhone.
My aunt and uncle who are missionaries in Kenya had a mock memorial for my family as if we died!
My dad who is still an elder did not even call me to talk to me. He did not even try to help.
My mom who is a nut job did call and email me, but can not see the lies and the cover ups.
I can not believe that they would shun me! I have not smoked, become a drunk, done drugs, or committed pornia. Even though my brother in law who is an alcoholic, and has served at world headquarters since 1991 is ok. He is good company, while I am wicked. I have lost most of my family and a lot of friends but not all is bad.
The first Six Months of our Real Life
Things have been great, awesome, amazing, and so much fun these last few months. I have done fun things i could never do before. I love video games, but I did not play them too much, because I always feel bad. This year I bought a PS4 and love it. I have watched R rated movies for the first time! ( and for some reason I have not changed). I have found my moms two brothers who left the cult in the 70’s. I found out that I have a cousin that I did not know I had. My brother woke up after I did. He is on (the reddit.com/r/exjw) subreddit as /u/Pixelated_. His wife is out as well. They are happier then ever. My wife’s brother and his wife are also out. Their marriage was not going good, but now they are having the best life ever.
Thank you (reddit exjw community) for all of your help. This was very difficult to leave one life for another. But all of you made it easy. Even though all of you are “mentally diseased”, you are very nice and love each other with no conditions attached. Thanks to Eric from JWstruggle (https://www.youtube.com/user/JWStruggle). Thanks to the Cedars (https://www.youtube.com/user/johncedars1929) for his great videos, and thanks to everyone here who listens to me even at 3 in the morning. All of you are so great. You all are my family. All of us have come thru this together, and we will always have that connection.
Contact Info: Reddit – /u/exElder_Hawk